Rector’s Address to St. Stephen’s Annual Parish Meeting, February 3, 2008, by the Rev. Cork Tarplee

            Distinguished theologian Dr. Katie Cannon once told some budding parish clergy at Episcopal Divinity School about an event that shaped her ideas about parish life.  She recalled that she grew up in the south where her mother was the cook and housekeeper for a wealthy family.  When the homeowners threw a dinner party, Katie’s mother desperately needed the little girl’s help in serving the meal. At one such party, the little girl splashed hot grease on her arm just as the main course was to be served.  The child was convulsed in pain, but her mother feared for her job and for the family livelihood, so she sent Katie out to serve the heavy platter in spite of her agony.  Only after the meal was served did her mother gather Katie into her arms to see to her injury.  Dr. Cannon told the seminarians that there is a message in that story to all who shape the life of a parish: we must first bind the wounds of those who suffer among us before we can expect them to go out into the world to heal the broken.

            I remember this story at the start of every Lent, and I think it is appropriate for me to tell it today because we begin Lent this Wednesday—and because we gather today to shape the life of our parish.  We must shape our lives in Lent, and we must always shape the life of St. Stephen’s by balancing what we do for others and what we do for ourselves.  At the Church of Our Saviour in Washington , pastor Gordon Cosby always used the homely analogy of breathing out and breathing in.  To live you need to do both.  For a parish to live, we need to breathe out love into the world and breathe in God’s love for us.  And Katie Cannon was right: to minister to the needs around us we need to draw strength from knowing that we are loved by God.

            From time to time, people’s breathing gets disordered.  Singers and public speakers all know that if you don’t breathe in, you can’t perform.  And people in respiratory distress learn that it does no good to suck in air in panic if you don’t pause every now and then to empty your lungs.  The spiritual life of individuals and parishes can get disordered, too.  We can’t always be giving of ourselves if we don’t take the time to breath in God’s love in prayer, quiet time, reading, and refreshment.  Some would argue that in our world of affluence, we are most likely to have the opposite problem: always sucking in the goodies of the world and looking out for our own enjoyment and never emptying ourselves for the good of others.

            Here at annual meeting time at St. Stephen’s, we are called to pay attention to the balance of our spirituality.  We’re a small group, but we get a great deal accomplished.  Dana Longstreet points out in the report of the Social Justice Committee that we spend only 1% of the parish budget on the needs of those around us.  That’s worth paying attention to, but at the same time we shouldn’t miss the tally of the economic impact of the goods and volunteer work we accomplish.  That tally suggests that our real giving beyond our doors is worth over $90,000!  At the same time, we gave very generously to the physical plant at St. Stephen’s, accomplishing the huge projects outlined in the report of the Property Committee. If you look at the story of our year, I think you can see that we spend a lot of energy breathing out in caring for others and a lot of energy breathing in caring for our own parish life.

            My one concern for the future of St. Stephen’s is that all this emphasis on doing—for others and ourselves—neglects another kind of balance, an emphasis on being.  We give of ourselves strenuously, caring for the needs of those around us and caring for the needs of an aging physical plant, but do we let ourselves be cared for?  Aren’t we at risk of doing what Katie Cannon’s mother did—sending ourselves out to do hard work without first assuring ourselves that we are loved?  In 2008, the Vestry has assured me that we’ll take a hard look at our parish life.  We’ll look at the ways we welcome people into the life of the church, and the ways in which we care for people once they’re here:  How well do we really know each other, our joys and our sorrows?  How effectively do we offer each other God’s comfort?  How effectively do we strengthen each other?

            May we always do the work God has given us to do.  But may we also always be a place where we first experience the loving hand of God comforting us and caring for us.